Step 4

Set boundaries to protect yourself:
Boundaries are like fences, they set limits.  As you walk through the steps of forgiveness it may be helpful to set some boundaries to give yourself safe space in which to work.  Often these boundaries have to do with the way we relate to others and or the way they relate to us.  For example, we might decide, “From now on I will decline to accept my mother’s suggestion on what I should wear.” Or “I will listen to my dad’s advice on parenting but I won’t feel obligated to use it.”
Many times, setting boundaries means we need to stay away from certain family members, either for a time or for good.  Often boundaries are only temporary, giving us a little space as we work through difficulties.  Others, however, become permanent.  They help us make lasting change for the better in the dynamics of our family system.