You are going to resist attaching to someone.  Your old patterns and defenses will pop up.  You will begin to see them as they do.  When you notice them, take responsibility for them.  They are yours and you can decide what to do with them.

As you begin to get close to someone, you may have a habit of devaluing them so you can distance yourself again.  A well known Christian counselor reminds us to notice it… say to yourself, “Oh my!  There I go again devaluing a person who is trying to show me love and kindness.  I’m going to try to let them matter this time.”

You are responsible for you.  You are responsible for your growth so challenge your distorted thinking and habits.  Allow God to help you resist your old distancing patterns.

Try this today instead of your old habits…

Empathy, the ability to share in another’s pain, thoughts, feelings, and emotions.  Scary stuff for someone who keeps their distance emotionally from others.  But try it because it will begin to soften your heart.  Getting close to the hurts of others can soften the hardest of hearts over time.  As you identify with them and their hurts you will begin to get in touch with your own hurts and loneliness.